My email is in Manilla, eating lumpias {hacked}

By now you all realize that whatever happens to me is going to end up on the blog.  End of story.  Even this story which isn't that big of a deal, but I almost lost myself over it.  Of course the seriousness at which I was handling myself (completely overboard, freaking out, close to tears) came to an end when I called my BF.  Who instantly had a great side story to share about said hacking, and I just lost it.  I laughed so hard, and before I knew it this post literally wrote itself.  So here goes the story of how my email decided to travel the world, and didn't even leave a note with me.  With my entire contacts list, yes.  Me, not so much.

Let's talk about the email itself.  It's what my friend called "flat and not her usual witty self", when she called another friend to ask if I really was on a project trip to the Philipines.  To which I say, thank you for thinking that I am that cool, philanthropic, and brave.  I have a fear of flying number one, and two since my diet basically consists of chicken and avocados, I rarely travel anywhere that can't provide those two items immediately.  Also, how awesome that my wit and sarcasm precede me, and that the email was not believable because it lacked both!

Here's the email:

Hope you get this on time,

Am sorry I didn't inform you about my trip to Philippines for a program, I'm presently in Manila and am having some difficulties here because i misplaced my wallet on my way to the hotel where my money and other valuable things were kept.I want you to assist me with a loan of (2,800 Euro = 3,700 Dollars) to sort-out my hotel bills and to get myself back home.

I have spoken to the embassy here but they are not responding to the matter effectively, I will appreciate whatever you can afford to assist me with,I'll refund the money back to you as soon as i return,let me know if you can be of any help.I don't have a phone where i can be reached.

Please let me know immediately if you can be of help to my situation.

Regards,

Megan
AbsoluteMommy

Ok, so I can see that you may or may not believe that I was in dire straights.  Let me set the record straight, today, so that if I do end up stranded in a foreign country, and send an email similar to this, you will believe it's me.  I would have blogged heavily about any program I was going to go on.  I would have wanted you to know all about it.  I can't wear neon shorts without you all knowing, so some big trip to the Philippines... Yes, I would have blogged!  You should also know that I can't even do simple math, let alone exchange Euros and dollars.  In addition I would have parked my ass at the Embassy, even if it was the British Embassy in the Philippines, until they got me home.  And finally, do you seriously think I would be anywhere without my phone???  My beloved, third child, my iPhone.  Really? 

So here is what a letter would look like if I went over seas, and while I did mention it, in detail, on this blog, you may have forgot.

OMG, Holy (insert appropriate "F" word here),
I'm stuck in (insert country of choice here)
Some ahole stole my wallet, and now I'm wandering the streets of (said country) looking for avocados and chicken.  I'm starving, I haven't showered, and I really need a Starbucks.  I'm deadly seriousy as you can see by the Instagram pictures of me crying at the Embassy.  If not I will tweet a picture of me in the gutter with a newspaper blanket.  Please send whatever you can spare, money is great, but I'm dying for some grain free food right now.  This is not a joke, like the last time.  I really here.  Attached you will find an OOTD picture of me in dirty shorts and a tank.  Crying.
Thanks
Megan

In addition to that, the only country that is on my bucket list is England.  Because I have to at least try to run through the pillar at Platform 9 and 3/4 once, and stand in an empty hearth, throw some floo powder, and shout "Diagon Alley".  Just once.  So if you get an email of me at Kings Cross looking disheveled and perhaps with a wand in my hand and a lightening bolt on my forehead, act on that one.

So yes, it's been a frustrating yet comical day.  The ahole who hacked me changed not just my password but all my identifiers, so it came close to losing the email address entirely.  And yes, I freaked, flipped my lid, and almost cried.  But, you want to know the best part?  All the people in the blogging world that had my back. 

Thanks to all the bloggy friends that responded to the email to confirm that I was home safe, and some random ahole hacked my email.  You guys were ready to send money.  You rock.

Thanks to all my Tweeps, who blew up my feed immediately!  Like this awesome gal who always has my back!

Kristine is the bomb.  Period.
#yeah, PERIOD.

Thanks to all my friends on Instagram who knew it couldn't be me because of a few details that hacker didn't know about me.  One, I over share my life online, and two, I'm a stickler for spelling and grammar.

Does she know me or what???

I feel like this is a great compliment to my writing abilities.

And thanks to my friend from high school who left this comment on my personal Facebook post:

I seriously laughed at this one all night!

What can I say?  Well a lot since this post is super long, and if you are at the end of this rant, thanks.  I hope I made you laugh, because the laughs I had last night were so totally needed.  I guess it's not the end of the world if your email gets hacked.  It's just really frustrating and inconvenient.  Until you find the humor in it.

And then it just writes itself.


   

Meet Megan.

Not only does she have an awesome name,

but she has a totally awesome blog!

Check it!