The eve of something big

It's the eve of Caitlin's 5th birthday.  FIVE YEARS.  Is it over the top to say that it flew by?  It so totally did.  Five years of anything is a big deal, five years of marriage, the five years between 16 and 21.  So on the eve of what seems like a big deal, I'm reflecting. 

On motherhood and on me.

Caitlin in utero.

Five years ago today, I was fat, hot, and super preggo.  I was in pain, and peed every time I moved (tmi?).  I also was half way through a gallon of mint chocolate chip when I switched to rocky road.  I'm being super serious.  And I was so darn mad that this baby had missed all three of her due dates.

I was also naive.  Naive at the change that was about to happen.  That it wouldn't effect me so.  I was lost in a motherhood dream where I was blissful, on a cloud of happiness, with a child who slept and ate, and pooped perfectly.  Where everything was perfect.  Just like the books.

Five years ago it was still just me and the hubbs.  Watching Daniel Tosh, before he was Tosh.0.  Dropping "f" bombs about every little thing, like empty gallons of rocky road.  It was just the two of us, and a decked out pimped out nursery, a very expensive breast pump, and the hope that in the next month we'd get some sleep.

Five years ago, I didn't know this little person named Caitlin.  Who would challenge every fiber of my being from the moment she arrived.  I didn't know that she would have my hair and my eyes, but daddy's personality.  That she would hate to sleep, but love to be held.  Constantly.  I didn't know that she would challenge every rule of potty training, challenge every definition of motherhood, challenge every idea I had about love.

I had no idea that she would change me into a better person.  She would teach me everything I needed to know about being a mom.  That she would demand nothing more from me than love.  Just love. 

I didn't know that Caitlin would be one of my greatest collaborations, and assign me my hardest job to date. 

Five years ago I was just Megan, pregnant and waiting.

Today I'm mom, learning, loving, and living the best part of my life.



  Meet Joanna!  She blogs at Moda Mama.Follow Joanna's life and fashion diaries provingthat motherhood can be fashionable.